


No Need to Hide

by sigiseraphina



Category: Original Work
Genre: ABDL, Aftercare, Ageplay, Anxiety, College, Daddy Kink, Domestic Discipline, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, Insomnia, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Spanking, daddy dom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-02-26 21:09:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18725035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sigiseraphina/pseuds/sigiseraphina
Summary: Max throws a tantrum, while little. His anxiety spirals as he fears from a former relationship bubble up through the cracks. Will his anxiety prove correct, or has he found someone who loves him and is ready to help him move on?





	1. The Anxiety Spiral

“Maxwell Auley McKoy!”

With those three words, Max was totally taken out of the scene. He’d been playing with Will for a few months now, but this was the first time he had slipped fully into his little headspace. He’d gone to deep to remember to be careful, of what might happen if he was a bad boy. His mind drifted to Blake and his last punishment.

“Money.” Max stated blankly, stopping the scene and trying to stop his mind from wandering back.

Will took a step back, giving his boyfriend some space. “Alright.” He held up his hands almost as if being arrested. The safeword had been jarring for him. Although Max had only been in two relationships, Will had had several encounters. For him, the scene was going rather normal. A tantrum, a warning, a harsh warning, and a final warning. What should have come next was a small spanking and some aftercare. He wasn’t quite sure why Max needed to step out, especially after how invested he’d been all night.

“Sorry,” Max quickly apologized and rubbed his shoulder roughly. “Sorry, about that. I just think I’m tired.”

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize.” Will assured him with a smile. “You’re okay right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course… Just tired like I said.” Max stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked to the side, forcing his hands still. “We’re still good for movie night? Friday, right?”

“As long as you are. My shift ends at 6, so I’ll be ready at 7. Just text me when you’re in the lobby and I’ll let you in the elevator.” Will’s smile faded as Max only nodded weakly in response. It didn’t feel right to leave him like that, but before he could pry, Max let out an exaggerated yawn complete with a stretch and an overly eager smile.

“Awesome. No problem. Well, I gotta get some sleep. Gotta wake up early to study and laundry and stuff.” Max slide past Will and opened the front door. “So see you later. Call me if plans change or text me or something.”

Will hummed. He knew how to take a hint, but he still hated to leave things like this. Max didn’t end the scene because he was tired and god knows that boy couldn’t study to save his life. It wasn’t right to leave, but their relationship was just getting started. It felt equally wrong to push Max when he clearly wasn’t ready. Sighing, he went to the door, but paused in the frame. “If you wanna talk, or if your plans change, let me know. Might not respond if I’m working, but I’ll always get back with you. Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, sure. I’ll do that. Night.”

Will stepped out and as he turned and said “Night,” the door was closed in his face. There was a pause of silence then the clicking of the locks. Shaking his head, Will made his way out down the steps fighting the urge to go back and find out what happened. Maybe the full name was too much, maybe his voice was too loud, maybe he got too close? None of them felt like the answer. To soothe himself, he assumed “nerves” just a random case of them and that on Friday, things would go back to normal. Max would reach out if he needed him. 

Of course, this was not the case. Max was well adept at hiding his nerves, but they were numerous and never without reason. The reason could be a memory, a thought, a fear, or a slap across the face. And the last thing he would ever do when faced with one was to reach out. The thought alone of reaching out, being open, or asking for help sent his mind on a slippery slope on loop. 

If I tell him what’s wrong, he’ll feel bad for me, if he feels bad for me, I’ll be manipulating him, if I manipulate him, he’ll get sick of me, if he gets sick of me, I’ll be alone again, all his friends who put up with me will hate me, I’ll have to change schools, flee, I’ll never find anyone as nice as him again, he’ll never want me if he sees the real me, the spoiled, bratty, rich kid, who always gets what he wants, completely unlovable, undeserving of love, guilty, should be hate, he’ll never forgive me, no one should forgive me, God, I should have let him hit me, if he hit me it’d be over now, I’d be punished, he’d be in charge, I could fix it, I ruined it, just running from my problems like always, like an idiot, such a stupid idiot…

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he braced himself against the door and fell to the floor. He curled into himself and squeezed his head, trying to kink his mind and stop the thoughts from flowing. Why did he have to ruin it. He’d been so good for so long, but deep down he’d always be terrible. Throwing tantrums and manipulating people. Sobs turned into painting, his stomach tightened, and he trembled with energy. His self hatred ran on loop for what felt like hours, before his lie came true. He was exhausted, in every sense of the word. 

His breathing slowed, his stomach loosened, and his body stopped leaving behind a numb echo of pain. Max forced himself up, flopped onto his bed, hugged his pillow tight, and slept. Only darkness enveloped him. There were no dreams nor any true rest. He stayed in bed for hours upon hours, only forcing himself up well into the afternoon. He shuffled through the motions of waking up, skipping the non essentials and trying to block any thoughts from forming outside of steps. Cereal, no milk, comb hair, keep same clothes on, and gather laundry. 

He was doing a decent job of shuffling through, until he grabbed his cell phone to check his student email. The last text received still shining in green from the night before. “Coming up the stairs, baby! - Will” Why couldn’t have last night ended differently?

Max flopped back on his bed with his phone in hand. He replayed the entire evening in his head. Will came over, helped him into headspace with cartoons, Will pet his hair, they played blocks, Will cooked him pizza, cuddled on the couch, played peek-a-boo. It all went so well, Max remembered to say please and thank you, he was patient even when the pizza took forever to get crispy, and was a sweet little boy until it was time for bed. Will was still great, he warned him he had to leave soon, offered to read Max a bedtime story, and stay until he absolutely had to leave. Calm, sweet, and considerate. Will was perfect, but that wasn’t good enough for Max. No, he had to throw a tantrum because he wanted him to stay. He didn’t want to be without him. Not thinking of Will’s jobs, his responsibilities, his needs, his life. 

If he didn’t stop, Max was sure that he would lose Will. That is what lost him Blake. He’d made him so angry and annoyed that no amount of good behavior could sate him. There was no way to make it up to him and he wasn’t sure how he’d make it up to Will. He thought of a gift, an expensive one, or maybe paying his rent for a month. That wouldn’t work, that was manipulative. He could be perfect from now on, but he planned on that anyway, so it wouldn’t count. Would an apology be enough? 

Max opened up his contacts and scrolled to Will’s name. He wanted to call, since it was more personal and he wanted to get it over with. Then he checked the time, Will was working. He opened up his notes and started writing an apology. 

“Hey Will, I am really sorry about last night-” Will wouldn’t be off until late, he’d probably have to call him Monday between classes. “Hey Will, I am really sorry about Saturday night. I got upset when I thought about you leaving and I-” That sounded like excuses, Blake had done several sessions going over that. “Hey Will, I am really sorry about Saturday night. I shouldn’t have thrown a tantrum. That was uncalled for-” Max deleted it all. He couldn’t write it down. Then it was like a script and if it was scripted then it couldn’t be genuine. He’d call Monday and apologize, then he could do better and it’d all be over.

Max repeated it throughout the day. “Call Monday, apologize, do better, call Monday, apologize, do better, Call Monday…” Between the loops, he did his laundry, read a few articles for class, ate the leftover pizza, watched tv, and refreshed his social media timelines. It was barely a day and yet he was exhausted by 10. He didn’t fight it, just set his alarm and crawled into bed. This sleep was better. Not as restless now that he had a plan, but not energizing like it usually was.

When he awoke the next day, he showered, put on fresh clothes, made some eggs, and got to class early. “Call after class, then it’s over…” But when the end of class came, he realized, they’d only have a few minutes to talk. Maybe next class shift would be better? Then they’d have an hour of overlap time. However, when that time came it was lunch and the student union had atrocious cell reception. By the time, Max had his food and was out of the building, they’d only have ten minutes to talk. Before his night class, Will would have 30 minute break, that would work. Until he realized that he’d be calling when Will was driving home. He didn’t want to distract him. 

Monday night was restless again. Tuesday he was going to call, but he didn’t want to bother or upset Will on his day off. Another restless night. Wednesday, he tried calling, but Will didn’t pick up. It took two excruciating hours to get a text, explaining he’d been meeting with a professor. Now he was a selfish, interrupting boyfriend. No sleep at all. He skipped all his classes Thursday, he thought maybe a text was a better apology than nothing at all. He couldn’t get it to sound right. Max spent the day wrestling between panic attacks, brief periods of sleep, and trying to write a text he would never send. At 8:45, just as Will’s night class got out, he erased his latest apology draft and simply sent “we still on for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sorry, busy week. Looking forward to it :)” Max let out a sigh of relief and squeezed his pillow tight. He didn’t sound angry. Maybe if he apologized in person, things could still be good. Quick apology, movie, and back to normal. Since they’d met, they’d never gone this long without talking. It was Max’s fault for not calling, since he almost always called. Maybe because only Max really wanted to talk. And with that one thought, all the relief he had melted away. His anxiety started spinning as his mind wondered not if tomorrow night was going to end in a disaster, but instead how big of a disaster tomorrow night would certainly be.


	2. Releasing the Spiral

Will popped his collar, smoothed back his hair, and gave a final finger gun pose to the mirror. He was gorgeous and ready as he’d ever be. Honestly, half the fun of dating for him was just getting to look nice for someone else. Well, maybe more like a quarter of the fun. Another quarter for sex, the relationship, and the person. Although last time ended a bit awkwardly, Max was by far his favorite person he’d ever dated. Sweet, patient, always considerate, and his energy was just contagious. This week he’d been quiet, probably needed some space, but usually he’d call everyday and act like they hadn’t talked in years. Sure the conversations weren’t always riveting, particularly on the day following “The Bachelor” airing, but Max was so eager and detailed. Will barely needed to talk and he liked it that way, just hearing someone so genuine and lively. It was infectious.

Will sighed happily as he thought back on the last few months, then beamed as he felt his phone buzz. He checked and sure enough, it was his Maxie. “In lobby” Will replied right away, “On my way!! <3 <3 <3” Then he grabbed his phone, his keys, and elevator card. Excitement already pounded in his chest. They’d drink some wine, curl up together, watch a sappy movie, and fuck until dawn. The perfect evening. He thought of Max’s soft hair, his bony fingers digging into his back, those bouncy lips, and that sweet sweet ass.

He filled his mind with eager images of the night to come, but all those images dissipated in an instant. Max was slouched on the edge of a chair, his eyes red, hair disheveled, and missing a button in the center of his shirt looking lost in his own world. If it had just been one or even two things out of place, Will would have chalked it up to one of Max’s frazzled moods. All of them together though? Max was not okay. Thankfully, Will saw him and had a moment to process, before Max notice him. Will smiled at him like everything was normal and motioned Max to come over.

A spark of light flashed in Max’s eyes and he returned the smile, coming over quickly. “Hey, sorry I’m late, Uber took forever.” He followed Will into the elevator and continued, “Might have to look into driver’s ed classes. Waiting on other people really is a drag. You like those big boxy cars, Hammers, or Hemmricks or whatever. Maybe I could get us a pair and we could match.”

“Don’t you have a budget to stick to?”

“Yeah, but I love you. I got Blake a Mermaidsy, you should get at least a Hammer.” Max insisted, leaning against Will. “You’re the best and I’ve got several hundred thousand left in my inheritance. Let me buy something to make you happy.” 

Will kissed his forehead and wrapped his arm around him. “You make me happy.” Guiding him towards his apartment, he added, “I’ll buy my own Hummer someday. You don’t have to take care of me.”

“But- You… I have to do something for you. Last time…” Max gave a small whine and quickly pulled the door shut, once they were inside. “Look, I’m really, really sorry about last time. I wanted to call you, but then I missed my chance, and you weren’t calling me, so I know you’re really, really upset, but I just need you to know I’m sorry and I’m gonna do better. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

Will blinked in surprise, barely able to process the panic word vomit. “What…? Why are you sorry?” Max’s skin went pale and swooned. Will grabbed him by the shoulders to keep him from falling. “Whoa, there, cowboy. Okay, just take a deep breath.” Will pulled Max over to the couch and patted his shaking back.

Max shook his head and whined again trying to quell the monster inside him. He had to answer him, but words were failing him. Will had just been asking for clarification, more details, but the question brought up memories. Memories of being forced to not only reiterate poor behavior, but also scold and berate himself for it. If he was really sorry, he wouldn’t have made a mistake, he would have apologized already, he was just being manipulative, he was ruining things even furthur. Tears started to fall and he hated himself for it. Manipulative, manipulative, manipulative little bastard.

“Max!” Will begged, cupping his cheeks and forcing eye contact. Will’s face was filled with concern. He tried to think back to his psychology classes and forced his face to relax and softened his voice. “Just look into my eyes and breathe.”

Shoving a hot iron into his eye sounded more pleasant, but Max was desperate to obey and be a good boy again. Choking on a sob, he blurrily stared back at Will, barely able to make out his face. He put his hands on top of Will’s and squeezed them tight against his face. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, please-”

“Shh… no talking. Just breathe and look at me.” Will ordered calmly, brushing his thumbs gently across his face and keeping his hands in place. 

Max whined, fighting the urge to go over another waterfall of apologies. He tried to blink away the tears and forced himself to keep eye contact, breathing as slowly as he could manage. At first it felt awful. All he wanted to do was go back in time and make himself make better choices. To not end up at a point where he was falling apart in front of Will like a crazy person. But… as he continued to force himself to breath and stare into Will’s emerald eyes, he slowly started to calm down. He found flecks of yellow speckled around Will’s iris, he felt the warmth of Will’s hands against his cheeks, he heard his breathing slow to a reasonable level, and eventually his mind went blank. With that moment of blankness, the panic dissipated. 

Will could see the change slowly settle in his boyfriend’s face and body. However, he kept his hands steady and did not move, waiting for Max to make the choice when to pull away. Once the blankness sank it, it didn’t take long to Max to do just that. He pulled back, whiped his remaining tears away, and apologized softly. Will released his cheeks and moved his hands down to take hold of Max’s hands. “Can you tell me why you’re so upset?”

Max nodded meekly. “I just…” He closed his eyes and squeezed Will’s hand trying to stay present. “I don’t want to mess things up between us.” Max took a deep breath as he opened his eyes. “I know we haven’t… really talked about, before us much… But when I was first with Blake, I wasn’t a good boyfriend. I wasn’t a good person. And I changed, but he changed too. I could never make it up to him how awful I was at the beginning. I don’t wanna go back to how I was and ruin another relationship. Especially with you.”

Will listened closely and tried to keep his face neutral. Internally, his mind was going off in a million directions. He felt guilty for not calling or texting during the week and he wondered if he could’ve even helped. It was nice that Max was opening up to him. That was a step for their relationship and with that came some fear. One thing for sure, he wanted to help and he didn’t want to lose Max either. So even though, he would’ve liked to have taken a moment and gathered a meaningful and thoughtful response, Will didn’t want to keep Max waiting. “Maxie. You haven’t ruined anything. You aren’t ruining anything. I don’t understand totally, but I want to. I don’t wanna lose you either.”

That made Max smile, a small, sad smile, but still a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Will caressed Max’s hand. “What made you so scared about us?”

Max pulled his hand back and squeezed his arm, forcing himself to stay in the moment. “I threw a tantrum, and I was scared.” He tried to keep the explanation brief, but couldn’t help adding details. “Like last time was going so good, and I was trying so hard to be a good boy for you. And it could’ve been another perfect night. You were being awesome, things were going awesome, and I just ruined it. Then you were upset and I thought-... I don’t really know what I thought, I just felt scared, like, like, I was starting to ruin things and if things kept going, I’d just ruin things more. Plus then you never hit me, so I felt bad and you didn’t call so I thought you were really really mad and you’d never ever, ever forgive me. And- And-”

Will interrupted gently, “Okay, slow down. You’re starting to spiral again, sweetheart. Keep breathing.” Will modeled deep breaths. After Max followed suit, Will continued. “First off… I swear, I will never hit you. I might spank you when you’re little, because we talked about that. Second, I was not mad at you. I thought I scared you and was giving you space to call when you were ready. I’m sorry I scared you and I’ll make sure I do a better job in the future. Third, a tantrum is not even in the same galaxy as never forgive behaviors.”

“But I was a bad boy! And you were angry, I made you angry!”

“I was disappointed in your actions. It’s not quite how I wanted our evening to end. I wasn’t angry though. You know I wouldn’t lie to you right?”

Max whined, “Yeah… but… ugh! I’m just sorry.”

Will sighed and rubbed his forehead. “You don’t have to be…” He paused not sure how quite to proceed. Max was tired and based on his his voice, he was slipping into little space quickly without even realizing it. And Will was pretty sure there was another tantrum building. Based on tonight, if he let Max build to that point, then things could get messy quick. Taking a deep breath, he made a choice he wasn’t overly happy with, but felt like the best option. “Maxie… would it make you feel better, if Daddy gave you the spanking he was going to give you last week?”

A blush spread across Max’s face and his heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know. Will had told him from the beginning, he didn’t like carrying scenes over. So Max knew it was a pretty big offer. But… considering it was an offer. He supposed that it would give him some closure and maybe that would make him feel better. Was that selfish though? Knowing that Will didn’t like the idea and asking for it anyways. Guilt started to bubble and Max’s face showed it all.

“Maxie. Would it help? Yes or no.”

“Yes, but you don’t have-”

“Ah, ah, ah… I didn’t ask for an explanation.” Will moved to his ottoman and patted his thighs. “Come here, little boy.”

Max squirmed in his seat and whined as he felt his heart sank. He wasn’t sure if he should let this happen. He could safeword, he could say no. Although, if Will really, really didn’t want to, he could safe word to. He could say no. Maybe it was okay? Will literally snapped him out of the internal battle by snapping his fingers and ordering him over again. “I’m not going to ask a third time.”

At the warning, Max stood up and any hesitation he had faded away. He needed this. The relief was already swelling inside him with every step he took. Even as he felt a shiver of nervousness as Will pulled down his pants and boxers, it still felt mounds better than the panic and fear he’d been fighting all week. Will didn’t have to order him to bend over, Max did so on his own and gripped the edge of the ottoman. “I’m sor- Ow!” Max balked in surprise, expecting a warning first.

“I will tell you, when I want you to speak, little boy.” Will rubbed his bottom. “Now I want you to listen close. This spanking is for throwing a tantrum.” Will gave two more swats, in quick succession on each cheek. “It’s okay to be upset. It’s not okay to stomp your feet, shout, and disobey me.” Another pair of swats echoed through the apartment as Max bit his lip to keep himself from, even accidentally letting out an exclamation of pain.

“I don’t appreciate tantrums, Maxwell.” Will tilted him forward and starting punctuating each word with a hard swat. “And. every. time. you. throw. one. you. are. going. to. have. a. sore. little. bottom!” Will huffed and gave a half dozen swats to his thigh to spread out the sting. “Am I clear, little boy?”

“Y-Yes, Daddy,” Max whimpered, wiggling his hips. Tears were stinging at the edge of his eyes, but he knew they were just getting started. Far too early to cry.

“Good!” Will stopped the lecturing. However, he proved Max’s guess wrong. He peppered his bottom and thighs with only a baker’s dozen more swats. Then Will pulled Max up to sit on his lap and held his head against his shoulder, rubbing circles on his back. “Alright, baby, we’re all done. Daddy forgives you.”

Tears had just started to flow when Will picked him up. Having Will cradle him and touch him softly after such a small spanking made Max feel confused, surprised, and most of all loved. Rather than dry his tears, the actions only made him cry harder. Max clung to Will and released all the emotions pent up from the last week and the smallest drop of past hurt too. He was not coming from a relationship where mercy was given, where comfort was given after, where there was instant forgiveness and love. It was exactly what Max needed and he’d never felt more loved.


	3. No Need to Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, I was graduating from college and now I'm a working girl!

The tears and sobs came pouring out like a busted dam. It was a big step for Max to feel so safe and loved. It was an even bigger step for their relationship as the wall between them began to crack. Just as Max was feeling comfortable in sharing his vulnerabilities, Will felt the need to hold, protect, and support without the fear of pushing too quickly. There was a need for Max to feel loved and there was a need for Will to surround him in love. Their movements became in sync with every sob immediately met with a soft purr. For the next half hour, they were one.

There was a part of Max that wanted to keep crying, to unleash more past hurt and let Will take it away. But, he was tired, so very tired and the tears simply dried up on their own and his body melted into Will’s. He also didn’t feel right to keep going. For that half hour they were closer than they’d ever been, but the wall wouldn’t fall with one night of intense intimacy. It wouldn’t be healthy and Max had just put his turn signal on for the exit lane away from his anxiety. Being so close to someone was intense, as if he’d grown into a bigger being melded together. It was a lot that he wasn’t quite ready for and he worried he’d already pushed Will too far. The release was great for him, even if it was scary, but he couldn’t help but think that it’d been awful for Will. Will was expecting a movie night with his totally normal boyfriend, only to end up forced to pick up the pieces of a broken young man. It made him feel guilty, so Max pulled away and started to try and spackle the wall back up.

“Sorry… I haven’t really been sleeping. I guess I just overreacted cause of that.”

Will shook his head and ran his fingers through Max’s hair. “It’s okay. You needed that. No reason to be sorry at all,” he tried to assure him.

Max blushed and looked at the floor shyly. “Still… I-”

Will kissed his cheek and held him against his chest. “Don’t worry about it. Daddy’s here to take care of you.” Max let out a tiny whine that made Will snort back a laugh. “I do think you’re right though. You are a very sleepy little boy.” Will picked Max up bridal style as he stood up from the ottoman. He was a good bit bigger than Max both in frame and height, but he wasn’t overly strong and thought it’d be the easiest way to carry Max for now.

Max wrapped his arms loosely around Will’s neck. He gave a small nod and rested his head against Will’s neck, as Will carried him towards the bedroom. Max was eager at the thought of going to sleep without the pit in his stomach, but suddenly jerked back as he remembered why he came over to begin with. “But, what about movie night? It was your turn to pick and I-! I’m sorry, I should’ve-...”

“Maxie, don’t worry about that.” Will set Max on the edge of the bed and started to unbutton Max’s shirt. “You need Daddy and I need my little boy taken care of if I’m going to enjoy a movie night. Maybe if you feel better in the morning, we can watch the movie together. If not, we can save it for next week.”

“But, Daddy, I-”

“Hush little boy.” Will ordered, bopping his nose lightly. He continued as he pulled Max’s clothes off, “No more arguing or “i’m sorries,” Daddy’s in charge right now. Daddy’s going to give you a bath, then get you ready for bed.”

“Yes, Daddy…” Max whispered giving the smallest pout. He was just trying to be considerate.

“Good boy.” Will praised as he finished disrobing him. He was going to offer Max a choice between being carried and walking into the bathroom, but he changed his mind. Choices would just get Max spiraling again, trying to decide which was the right choice. All Will wanted him to do was to relax and let him handle things for the rest of the night, so he picked Max up without warning and carried him into the bathroom. Then he sat him on the cold hard counter as he prepared the bath. He saw Max give a tiny wince as he was sat down. Not wanting to embarrass him, Will pretended not to notice and started filling the tub.

“Daddy-?” Max started, but cut himself off with a small whine and blush. His toes curling and uncurling themselves as he squirmed on the counter. Will had seen him naked several times, but never in little state and never sitting on the counter like a naughty boy on display. However, it wasn’t the exposure that was really bothering him.

Will took his hand out of the water and shook it to dry it off, satisfied the temperature was coming out warm, but not hot. “What is it, darling?”

“Nothing, sorry.” Max lied, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Sighing, Will came over to Max and forced his legs back down to dangle. “Tell Daddy what’s wrong.”

“I said nothing, it’s not important.”

“You wanted to say something. That’s important to me.” Will grabbed his chin gently to force eye contact. “I’m not psychic Maxie, if there’s a problem or something you don’t like you need to use your words and tell me.”

Max tried to push Will’s hand off him, but he could tell by his expression that he wasn’t going to let go. He let out a whine fighting with himself on how to proceed. It really was nothing, well more of a tiny something. A quirk that bothered him that wasn’t a big deal. He wished he just hadn’t said anything and just dealt with the very minor issue on his own, but now Will was making it a big deal. An issue of talking about things and being open about things. But they’d just had a huge chunk of being open and raw with each other. Did Will really want him to be open all the time now? Cause that for sure wasn’t happening. He liked Will, he loved Will, and if he started gushing about every little problem then Will wouldn’t want to be with him. He refused to lose him that easily. Max’s pout turned darker and he stubbornly closed his eyes.

Will rolled his eyes and let go of Max’s chin. Shaking his head, he stepped back over to the tub and sat on the edge to retest the temperature. “Fine. If you want to disobey Daddy, then you can sit there quietly until the bath is ready. No more talking until I say so.”

Max bit his lip and pulled his legs back up to his chest. He was fine with no talking. In fact that’s exactly what he wanted. Resting his head on his knees, Max closed his eyes. He was so tired and didn’t want his mouth getting him into more trouble. The pit started sprouting inside him again as the silence continued. More trouble. He just got his first punishment from Will, his bottom still sore, and already he was messing up again. What was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he learning like a normal person? How could he not be grateful after Will was so easy on him? Who did he think he was?

Will shut off the bath water. “There we go… Alright, Maxie are you-? Oh, sweetheart…” Will cooed as he looked over at Max’s tear stained face. He strolled over to Max and cupped his face. “What’s going on, darling? What got you so upset again.”

“I’m sorry…” Max tried to force himself to stop crying, but the lack of sleep had turned his emotions up to high. He just couldn’t seem to get a grip on himself, to hide all the ugly parts of himself away.

“For what?” Will asked patiently as he pet his cheeks, hoping that Max would elaborate enough for him to know how to proceed. This was new territory for Will. He had been into the Daddy/Little scene for years, obsessively reading real and pretend accounts of the ideal relationship. He’d always been a good Daddy and a confident one. Not knowing what to do, not being able to guess what Max was thinking, it was confusing, surprising, but also a bit exciting. He’d dated and played with needy brats, littles boarding on middle, total babies, and masochists that just wanted to cause trouble. 

It’d been early in their relationship that Will realized, Max wasn’t going to fit into a neat box. He was sweet and considerate like a cuddly needy little. But he also was cautious and slow to open up to physical affection, keeping a safe calculated distance like an independent middle. Yet he was so clumsy and naive to the world that he needed guidance. And now he’d shown a small breakdown in front of him twice in one night. He could feel the struggle inside Max going back and forth, but had no idea what the struggle was about.

Thankful, the tiredness both from sleep deprivation and bottling up his emotions turned Max into hose and his feelings came spewing out. “I’m sorry I’m being such a brat. I’m sorry I’m crying over nothing. I’m sorry I bothered you. I’m sorry I didn’t answer you when you asked what was wrong. I’m sorry I threw a tantrum. I’m sorry I fell apart. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m just so bad at this! I keep trying to stop crying, but I can’t, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m so bad.”

Will cooed and squeezed Max’s cheek and thumbed away at his tears. “Shhh… it’s okay, little one-”

“No it’s not!” Max yanked back. He sobbed and shook his head. “I’m bad and you’re perfect.”

Will jumped on the counter next to him and held his hand tightly. He really wanted to pull Max against his chest and hold him again until he calmed down, but he also didn’t want to scare him further. Holding hands, he felt was the best compromise. Taking a deep breath before responding, Will gave Max’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m not perfect baby. No one is and you are far from bad.” He smiled lightly. “I love you, Maxie. I missed you this week, not hearing your voice, not knowing how your day was going, I don’t even know who got kicked to the curb this week on the Bachelor. I was really looking forward to tonight. And yeah sure, it hasn’t gone how I was expecting… but I’m with you. And the night’s not ruined, we’re not ruined.”

Max’s legs slid down and the pit in his stomach started to lighten the more Will talked. The tears dried up with a sniffle, as he squeezed Will’s hand back.

Will gave a sigh of relief. “Look at me, baby.” With his free hand, he brushed the hair out of Max’s face. Making eye contact he continued, “Tell me what you wanted to say earlier. Then I’ll help you take a bath. Alright?”

Nodding, Max replied, “Alright… it really is stupid though. I just… I don’t like baths without bubbles. Cause like, I see all the dirt, and hairs swimming around me, and ugh! It just feels gross, not like getting clean. That’s why I like showers more. I don’t have to sit in my own filth.”

It was hard, but Will managed to hold his surprise back. That was it? That’s what sent him spiraling again? Well, it probably wasn’t that exactly, but it was what started it. A small comment that Will would have been happy to accommodate, but now that the tub was already full, it was too late. The lack of sleep was acting like a flashlight, illuminating all the parts that Max had worked so hard to keep hidden. It upset Will, partly for his own lack of perception and partly from Max’s lack of trust.

But… it wasn’t worth diving into. Not now anyways. Max had already opened up a lot tonight, he didn’t need to spew out everything now. So Will gave a snort of amusement and ruffled his hair. “Sweetheart, I would’ve added bubbles if you’d just told me. It’s too late now, but I’ll keep it in mind for the next time you come in looking like lost dirty puppy.” He teased, picking Max up and lifting him into the tub. “I want you to be happy, Max, there’s no need to hide.”

Max blushed. He started to look down, but remembered his aversion and simply closed his eyes and leaned back instead. Then he worried that maybe he was being too presumptuous, leaning back and expecting Will to clean him. He opened his eyes and asked, “Is it okay, if I close my eyes?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I told you, Daddy’s taking care of you tonight. Just lay back in relax and try not to fall asleep. Trust me, slipping underwater can be a darn rude awakening.”

Max giggled and relaxed back against the tub again. He was as limp as a noodle as Will scrubbed the grime off his body and couldn’t help but to purr at the soft touches. He was so relaxed that he nearly dozed off, but headed Will’s warning and forced himself to stay awake through the bath. Especially when Will started scrubbing his scalp. By time the bath was over, he was barely conscious. 

Will had to set him on the bed to dry him off, because he was worried about him falling over. It made it hard to get him totally dry, but it was good enough for Will. He pulled a large tshirt and a fresh diaper from his dresser. Max gave a small whine as Will lifted his legs, but was too tired to fight back. Will just shushed him as he worked. Then tucked him into bed. He intended to get back up once Max was asleep, but when Max wrapped his arms around him and softly whined “stay?” he knew he was trapped.


End file.
